**FEMALE PRAYER:

BEFORE I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP,
I PRAY FOR A MAN WHO'S NOT A CREEP.
ONE WHO'S HANDSOME, SMART AND STRONG,
ONE WHO LOVES TO LISTEN LONG
I PRAY THAT HE IS GAINFULLY EMPLOYED,
WHEN I SPEND HIS CASH, WON'T BE ANNOYED.
PULLS OUT MY CHAIR AND OPENS MY DOOR,
MASSAGES MY BACK AND BEGS TO DO MORE.
OH! SEND ME A MAN WHO'LL MAKE LOVE TO MY MIND,
KNOWS WHAT TO ANSWER TO "HOW BIG IS MY BEHIND?"
I PRAY THAT THIS MAN WILL LOVE ME TO NO END,
AND NEVER ATTEMPT TO HIT ON MY FRIEND.
AND AS I KNEEL AND PRAY BY MY BED,
I LOOK AT THE FOOL YOU SENT ME INSTEAD.
AMEN.

**MALE PRAYER:
I PRAY FOR A DEAF-MUTE NYMPHOMANIAC WITH HUGE BOOBS
WHO OWNS A LIQUOR STORE. AMEN.