Thursday, October 30, 2003

We all went to David Kelloggs funeral Yesterday.
Adam and Meg are both still hurting.
It's funny....I was cool, I was fine until Dave's family walked into the church and the cold harsh reality of the fact that he was never going to come home to his family ever again hit me like a freight train. I managed to bottle up the tears but one or two slipped past.
The hardest part was meeting friends and family for both Dave and Kelly.
They kept thanking us for what we did.
But we didn't do jack. We weren't strong enough, skilled enough or fast enough to do anything that mattered.
Their sons/lovers/friends were never coming home. What the hell are they thanking us for? Why don't they hate us?
And then finally I see it......Kelly's girlfriend meets me ....I have trouble meeting her eyes.
It's unnerving what I read there.
She sneaks sidelong glances at me.
Her eyes ask me "why are you here and not Kelly, why didn't you save him?"
I will never forget the image of a man falling out of the skies and I will never forget that look of sorrow, pain and hate in someone's eyes.
I want to apologize for not doing enough but I know it won't mean a thing.
It won't mean anything the same as everything we tried to do that day doesn't mean anything.
No one was saved, no one was comforted and none of it means anything right now.


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